I'm Glad You're Dead: Preternatural Chronicles Book 1 (The Preternatural Chronicles)

My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.What would it take for you to sacrifice your soul? As it turns out, watching my family be brutally murdered was all it took for me. Was it worth it? I’ll let you decide…Fast-forward five centuries, and I’m now the last vampire on Earth, with a robust collection of refined snark, pop culture references, and enough run-on sentences to make an English teacher return my test, face down. Things are going good, but there’s just one teeny tiny problem: I’ve met an angel and personally slayed demons, so I know there’s an afterlife. That being said, I’ve, ahem, control-alt-deleted my fair share of mortals since the 1400s. But I have a good excuse! I was hungies! Regardless, I’m pretty sure that’s frowned upon by the man upstairs. But what to do with a sin-drenched soul that is basically pre-marinated for Hell’s barbecue?Enter Father Thomes—a modern-day Houston priest with the patience of a saint and the tolerance of a man who’s fought the good fight his entire life. He’s my mentor, my spiritual GPS, and, let’s be honest, the only reason I might have a shot at seeing my family again in the hereafter. Papa T is like Alfred to my Batman, helping guide my preternatural abilities with his sage words and eternal patience. But while Batman avoids killing bad guys, I’m out here personally curating a VIP list for the afterlife—cultists, demons, politicians… you know, the usual suspects.Just when I start getting the hang of this whole "murder-for-redemption" gig, the universe decides to throw me a curveball: the apocalypse. Heaven and Hell are gearing up for the ultimate showdown, and somehow, I’m on the guest list. So, do I embrace my fate, fight the forces of doom, and maybe, just maybe, save my soul in the process?Or do I fake my own death, change my name to Todd, and open a blood smoothie bar in the Bahamas?Decisions, decisions.Love snarky vampires, epic battles, and a side of apocalypse? Dive into the Preternatural Chronicles, an urban fantasy series packed with action, humor, and just the right amount of existential dread.Books 1-11 are out now (with 13 total planned)! Start with Book 1, I'm Glad You're Dead—available in print, digital, and audio. Only on Amazon (including Kindle Unlimited) and Audible (narrated by Luke Daniels).Grab your copy today and sink your teeth into the adventure!What Amazon readers are saying:★★★★★ ‘Let me count the ways I blood thee…’★★★★★ ‘Move over Dresden!’★★★★★ ‘The Preternatural Chronicles MUST come to Netflix. Now.’★★★★★ ‘John Cook puts the G.O.A.T. in gloat.’★★★★★ ‘Shayne Silvers has found the next author to take over Urban Fantasy.’★★★★★ ‘I need John Cook to have a story with Nate Temple. Please.’★★★★★ ‘John Cook loves vegans. Especially when they are served raw.’★★★★★ ‘The only thing that sparkles about this vampire is his fangs in the moonlight.’★★★★★ ‘All the twisted humor of Pulp Fiction, but with a vampire. It’s more like Gulp Fiction.’★★★★★ ‘If John Wick was a vampire and hung out with Ryan Reynolds on the weekends.’★★★★★ ‘Revenge is for amateurs, but vengeance is for professional vampires who take their jobs seriously. Like John Cook.’★★★★★ ‘Fans of Morbius, Blade, Buffy, Shade of Devil, and Deadpool will love the Preternatural Chronicles.’★★Nine out of ten people who recommend things loved Hunter Blain’s books, according to a rigged and heavily-biased research study overseen by Hunter Blain...★★ Read more